


hold me tight or don't

by nevershootamockingbird



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Character Study, Developing Friendships, Fist Fights, Friendship, Gen, Learning To Communicate, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 11:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15169880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevershootamockingbird/pseuds/nevershootamockingbird
Summary: "Leave him be," Molly says softly, running a hand briefly through Caleb's hair as he passes behind them, and something in Beau snaps at the gentle touch, gentle fucking voice, the fucking mask that won’t disappear. She reaches to the side, feels the smooth wood her staff under her fingers, and swings hard."What the fuck!" Nott screeches as Molly goes down with a yelp, Beau's staff catching him behind the knees and sweeping his feet out from under him. Caleb starts violently, twisting on the log and staring at them with wide eyes, and Beau sees fucking red when Molly laughs."There it is." He flashes a grin up at her, and Beau grits her teeth together as she drops the staff and dives down onto him, driving her fist into his jaw. Molly's gasp bleeds into another laugh, and he surges up to roll her, claws biting into her shoulders. "Come on, Beau, let me have it."





	hold me tight or don't

**Author's Note:**

> This does you to have some knowledge of what happened at the end of the most recent episode, ep 25! Spoilers ahead if you aren't quite caught up or haven't seen the big reveals of what happened.
> 
> I am hurting so much over Jester, Yasha, and Fjord being taken. I'm hurting for them, but I'm hurting more for the ones left behind. Caleb, Nott, Molly, and Beau are going to have a lot to deal with when they wake up, and this situation immediately popped into my head after I finished watching last Thursday's ep. They're all going to have different coping mechanisms, but I have a feeling that Molly and Beau are really going to butt heads, and that Molly is going to pretend his damned best to hold his shit together. 
> 
> So here's Beau and Molly fighting it out, and finding understanding in each other.

They fight on the eighth day, after.

They're no closer to figuring out where Yasha, Fjord, and Jester have been taken, and time is ticking down on their job for the Gentleman. Caleb is barely talking, Nott's drinking more, and Molly-- fuck.

Molly is driving her up the fucking wall.

She knows, rationally, that Molly is as panicked as the rest of them, is doing his damned best to hold them together as best as he can, but he won't fucking settle, keeps being nice, and gentle, and hasn't shown a fucking crack in that rational veneer since they woke up to blood and drag marks in the mud and dropped weapons.

Beau thinks she's going to lose her mind. She's furious, and terrified, and Molly doesn't rise to her bait, doesn't show any fear when Nott blurts out awful possibilities, doesn't get mad at the dead ends they hit.

It would scare Beau, she thinks, if it didn't make her so fucking angry instead.

"Beau?" Her name shakes her out of her head for a minute, and she twists to look at Caleb, startled that he's said anything. His fingers are twisted together, eyes staring blankly into the fire in front of them, and Beau's stomach roils, suddenly protesting at the simple stew she'd eaten not long ago.

"Yeah?" she manages, reaching out and stopping just short of touching his shoulder, letting her hand fall back into her lap instead.

"Never mind, I'm sorry," Caleb says, voice hoarse, and he keep staring into the fire. Beau swallows hard, glances across the way in time to catch Nott take another swig from her flask. She sighs, looking back at the other human, and notices the bowl in front of him, half uneaten.

"It's cool, man. You should finish that, though." Caleb shakes his head once, and Beau sighs again, frustration bubbling up in her throat. She clenches her jaw, tapping her fingers against her knee as she tries to think of something to say to convince him to eat so he won’t fucking disappear.

"Leave him be," Molly says softly, running a hand briefly through Caleb's hair as he passes behind them, and something in Beau snaps at the gentle touch, gentle fucking voice, the fucking mask that won’t disappear. She reaches to the side, feels the smooth wood her staff under her fingers, and swings _hard_.

"What the fuck!" Nott screeches as Molly goes down with a yelp, Beau's staff catching him behind the knees and sweeping his feet out from under him. Caleb starts violently, twisting on the log and staring at them with wide eyes, and Beau sees fucking red when Molly _laughs_.

"There it is." He flashes a grin up at her, and Beau grits her teeth together as she drops the staff and dives down onto him, driving her fist into his jaw. Molly's gasp bleeds into another laugh, and he surges up to roll her, claws biting into her shoulders. "Come on, Beau, let me have it."

"Fuck you," she spits at him before driving her knee up into his stomach, feels a vicious satisfaction as he loses his breath. Her blood is a dull rush in her ears, and she braces one foot on the ground, wraps the other leg around his thigh and flips them, her hands wrapping over his shoulders to slam him down with enough force to knock the wind out of him again.

"What are you doing!" Nott yells behind them, but Beau ignores her, shifting her weight to backhand the other side of Mollymauk's face. She isn't expecting his tail to wrap around her wrist after the strike, and it yanks her off balance, sets her teetering until suddenly the heel of his hand snaps up into her nose.

Beau feels a pop, hears a wet cracking sound, and then there's blood dripping onto Molly's face, a wild look in his eyes. She shakes her head, laughs at the rush of pain, then gasps when his tail tugs her arm wide open, giving him room to drive an elbow up into her stomach. Beau doubles over, groaning as she does, and lets go of Molly's other shoulder, rocking her weight back to where she's straddling his hips. She doesn't look as she swings for his face, bares her teeth in a grin when she feels her fist connect with his mouth, hears the pained shout he gives.

"Beauregard?" Caleb asks, and Beau feels the first stab of regret at the fear in his voice, tentative and shaking. She's too winded to answer, and then Molly's elbow snaps into her temple and the world swims as she lets out a shout that's just shy of a scream, loud and grating across her throat. There's a distressed sound behind her, and if Beau had half a mind she'd look over her shoulder, sure that Nott has fallen back into the habit of tugging on her ears. As it is, she has to close her eyes as the world starts to spin, and the jarring impact of her spine against the ground has her gasping brokenly, trying to arch away from the pain before Molly lands on her solidly, his knees digging into her thighs. Caleb sounds near frantic as he tries again, "Mollymauk?"

"We're fine, darling," Molly rasps, and when Beau looks up the tiefling is licking blood from the split in his lip, breathing hard as he draws a hand back. She barely gets her forearm up in time, yelling as his rings tear into her skin, and she strikes out with her other hand, catching him in the ribs hard enough to make him hiss and shift away from it. Beau tries to push up and Molly tangles one hand into her hair, yanking back and slamming her head into the dirt, other hand gripping a shoulder as he yells, "Let it happen!"

Beau blinks in an attempt to clear her vision, trying to force Molly's double image back into one, and she hates herself for the whine she lets out when his claws pierce through her shoulder, warm blood starting to dribble out. She feels wrong, almost sluggish, as she uses her free arm to reach up and grab a horn, wrenching his head to the side to make him cry out. Molly lets go of her hair to knock her hand away, bringing it back down to slap her hard across the cheek, and Beau hates herself more for the way her eyes well up.

“Fuck you,” she gasps, tasting blood on the back of her tongue and spitting out onto the grass before looking back up, balling her fingers in and slamming her fist against his inner thigh, driving one of his legs off her own as he grunts at the impact. She punches up into his abdomen then, making him groan and let go of her to clutch at it as he curls over her, but his tail lashes out to grab her wrist before she can hit him again. It twists against her skin, tightening enough that she cries out at the force, and suddenly the fire in her is gone.

“Beau?” Molly asks, and she blinks back tears as his tail loosens from her arm, uncoiling and falling away. There’s a tremor in his voice, and when she manages to focus her eyes, his jaw is clenched, eyes damp as he stares down at; she watches the fight drain out of him, watches him start to reach down, hands shaking, and Beau breaks.

She surges up, a sob ripping out of her throat, and Molly grabs her tight, pressing his face against her hair as she winds her arms around him. There’s a hand on the back of her head, and the gentleness of his touch just makes Beau cry harder, screwing her eyes shut as she fists her hands in his stupid fucking coat.

Beau feels Molly’s shoulders shaking, hears his hitching breaths as his tears begin to soak into her hair, and she thinks that if they make it through this, she’ll fucking die trying to protect him.

She has to. She can’t lose anyone else.

Her tears begin to run out, and exhaustion settles into her bones like smoke searching for a home. Molly’s sobs get louder, his arm tightening around her shoulders, and Beau sniffles as she tries to hug him closer, copper on her tongue as she swallows hard. She lets go of his coat slowly, flattening her palms and rubbing over his back firmly, letting out a shuddering sigh when he finally begins to calm some minutes later.

It’s quiet behind them, save for the crackling of the fire.

"They took them," Molly says above her, voice hoarse and choked, and Beau nods, leans in closer to press her face against his shoulder, ignoring the shock of pain that slides through her when her nose grinds and shifts. Molly lets out a shuddering sign, hand sliding up and tugging loose the ribbon to make her hair tumble down her neck, repeats himself, "They took them."

"Yeah," Beau whispers, shutting her eyes when he begins to tentatively work his fingers through the knots in her hair, nails gentle against her scalp. She swallows hard, curling her fingers loosely in his coat again as she says, "We're gonna find them. I swear, Molly, we are."

"Yes." There's brief pressure against the top of her head, and Beau doesn't think about the last time someone cared enough to kiss her there. "There's no other option," he says, still working through her hair, and Beau barks out a laugh, licks blood off her teeth and murmurs agreement.

A log shifts in the fire, and then Beau hears the nervous tapping of claws against a flask. Soft footfalls approach, but she keeps her eyes shut, not quite ready to let go just yet.

“Are you alright?” Caleb asks softly, and she feels another wave of regret wash through her at the trepidation in his voice. Molly hums above her, lifts his head to rest his chin on her hair.

“Yes, darling, we’re gonna be just fine now.” There’s a curl of satisfaction in his words, and Beau feels something in her settle, desperation slipping away to leave way for quiet contentment. “Time to get up, Beau,” he says, and she grumbles but relents, letting her hands fall away from his back.

“You’re both a mess,” Caleb tells them, and Molly lets out a laugh that bleeds into a pained hiss as he stands; Beau glances up to watch Caleb stagger under the weight of the other man, steadying him before they both fall. Molly grins sheepishly, pressing a soft kiss to Caleb’s temple, and the wizard sighs, voice mildly reproachful as he asks, “Mollymauk, did you just get blood on my face?”

“Perhaps,” Molly says, grinning wider, and Beau watches as Caleb’s lips curl up reluctantly in answer. “There you are,” he murmurs quietly, smile softening and Caleb’s cheeks go red under the attention. Beau is quick to look away and give them this moment, catching Nott’s gaze where the goblin still stands by the fire. She looks a little calmer, tucking her flask away under her cloak, and Beau isn’t surprised when she pulls a small copper wire out.

 _Don’t worry, we still have a couple of healing potions. Is this-- are you better now? You can reply to this message_. The whisper slides into her head, Nott’s voice unsure, and Beau holds her gaze as she smiles and nods. Nott looks satisfied, tucking the wire away and scurrying off to her tent, and Beau lets her gaze fall to the fire, focusing on the low flames.

She wishes desperately that things were different.

“Beauregard?” Caleb’s voice snaps her out of her reverie, and there’s a twinge in her neck when she glances up. He has a hand extended out to her, the other disappearing behind Molly’s back, and Beau lets a small smile curl across her face as she takes his hand. She grunts as the aches in her body make themselves known again, and then Molly curls a hand around her bicep, helping pull her up to standing again. She wobbles briefly, feeling unsteady on her legs, and then Molly’s tail slides around her waist, tugging gently until she leans against his chest.

“We’re gonna be okay,” she mutters, and she can see Caleb nod out of the corner of her eye, his hand still gently holding hers. Molly hums agreement, tail tightening around her, and then there’s a small hand on her thigh, patting gently.

“Yes, we are.” Nott’s voice is firm, steely conviction threading through it, and Beau glances down to see her leaning against Caleb’s legs, yellow eyes flashing. She holds two vials in her other hand, and she turns her head to smile up at Molly as she says, “We can’t let them down. We will find them.”

Beau lets her eyes slide shut, her hand tightening around Caleb’s. Her body is screaming at her to sleep, pain sparking and sliding through her muscles, her nerves, but her mind is quiet, soothed at being surrounded by-- by friends, by people who care.

Molly’s chin comes to rest on her head, and Nott’s hand keeps patting her thigh soothingly, the goblin murmuring something quietly. Beau hears Caleb respond, but she doesn’t focus on the words, swallows to wet her throat instead as she wraps her arm around Molly’s back, tugging gently on his coat.

“You okay?” She asks softly, just for him to hear, and a low chuckle rumbles through his chest that puts another smile on her face.

“No,” Molly murmurs, blunt honesty, and Beau is so fucking relieved that she sags a little more into him, hand tightening in his coat. He sighs heavily, squeezing his tail around her firmly, before continuing, “No, but, I’m better. I will be.”

“Me, too.” Beau keeps her eyes shut, soaks in the moment and pretends that there’s three others nearby, coming to join them. She can almost hear Jester yelling excitedly about a group hug, can almost hear Fjord’s laugh, can almost feel Yasha’s hesitant touch on her shoulder.

They’ll be better. They’ll find their friends. They’ll kill whoever they have to, do whatever it takes to make things right.

Beau slows her breathing until it matches Molly’s, until she can feel her pulse thrumming beneath her skin, until that creeping little voice in her head tells her to get ready for a fight.

Molly shifts just enough to press a kiss to the top of her head, and Beau lets herself hope.

There’s people out there who need them.

They won’t let them down.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you enjoyed this! I am really really happy with this, and I'm sure it won't end up being all that accurate but I feel like it's a decently believable situation that might come up. 
> 
> I tried my hardest to keep the characterization right in this, hopefully it seems accurate! I love these kids so much, I really hope that they form stronger bonds and strengthen their friendships while trying to save their other friends. 
> 
> Title is from Hold Me Tight or Don't by FOB, because it came on while I was writing and it seemed to fit well. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Again, I really do hope that you enjoyed this. You can find me over on [tumblr](https://nevershootamockingbird.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/daleytwin1) if you feel like yelling with me about these lovely characters :)


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